


The Cootie Touch

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-10
Updated: 2011-12-10
Packaged: 2017-10-27 04:18:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You're 0 for 2 with the uncomfortable images tonight.” she said.  “Thank you for that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cootie Touch

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY! I loved some things about the episode, hated others, but I just wanted to laugh. I'm working within my fanon where Hotch and Prentiss are married. Most who read my stories know that but I'm new here so I thought I'd just say it.

“I’ll just go and sleep with JJ and Penelope…its fine.”

“No, no Emily, that wasn’t what I meant. C'mon.”

“I hear what your mouth is saying but you should see your face, Aaron. Your face is saying ‘stay away from me’.”

“Impossible.” Hotch replied. “My face couldn’t even say stay away from me when it was supposed to. Just come to bed.”

“I can't do that when you're looking at me like I have cooties.” Emily crossed her arms.

“Well poison ivy is contagious and you have been scratching all day. I admit to feeling a slight apprehension. It’s warranted.”

“I've been using the ointment and I took a long shower. Dammit, I can't believe I walked into that patch of weeds. What was I thinking? And damn Rossi and Tawes for letting me.” Emily made a noise of frustration and once again started scratching her arm. She looked at her husband’s face as she was doing it. “I'm going down the hall.”

“Emily…”

“Look, we’re not going to get tons of sleep tonight anyway. And anything else you and I would've done in this bed isn’t going to happen since you don’t want to get poison ivy. I don’t want you to get it either.”

“But you'd have to share a bed with Penelope or JJ. You’re willing to give it to them?”

“There are two beds in the room. They’ll share one and I’ll take the other.” Emily grabbed her toiletry bag and turned to walk out.

“You're going to leave without a kiss?” Hotch seemed appalled by that.

“I'm possibly contagious, remember?”

“Come over here please.” He seemed to back in full Unit Chief mode. While Hotch and Prentiss weren't allowed in the bedroom in the ‘work’ way, her husband was well aware of what his Unit Chief voice did to her.

“You come to me.” she replied, slipping her hands behind her back.

Hotch got up from the bed, walked over to where Emily was standing, and put his arms around her shoulders.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t go.” He whispered as he gave her Eskimo kisses. “I don’t think you have cooties, we’re probably just going to sleep, and I don’t want to do that alone. Also, I'm going to need someone to laugh with while listening to Rossi and Strauss have sex.”

“Aww Aaron, did you really have to give me that mental image.” Emily closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose. “Paybacks are gonna be a bitch for that one.”

“Well don’t act as if it won't happen.” He took her hands and started moving toward the bed. “They're worse than teenagers sometimes.”

“Let’s be grateful she doesn’t come into the field with us very much. Speaking of, I don’t know if she…”

“Uh uh,” Hotch kissed her. “There will be no work discussion…no Strauss discussion either. Its time to say goodnight now, Mrs. Hotchner.”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Hotchner.” Emily smiled. “Are you sure you wanna put yourself at such risk?”

“I'm never sleeping without you again. I’ll deal with the rest when it comes.”

Emily smiled as she slipped into bed with her husband. Then he turned out the lamp. She hoped she didn’t pass the poison ivy off to him. She hoped it would clear up soon because her itchy arm was killing her. It was her right arm too, which made it all the more inconvenient.

Eventually she was going to have to use her gun in this case. It wouldn’t be easy if an itch spasm came along. Shaking off the thoughts of itching because they made her itch more, Emily cuddled up with Hotch. They needed to sleep; this case was only going to be harder in the morning.

And they were also being watched by their boss, who would then report to her own superiors. That didn’t make things any easier. Neither did the giggles suddenly coming from next door. Emily knew what those giggles meant. She groaned and covered her ears. Damn hotels and their paper-thin walls.

“Couldn’t they at least wait until we went to sleep?” she mumbled.

“I'm sure they thought we were in here doing the same thing.” Hotch reasoned.

“Well we’re not…cuz you don’t wanna get cooties.”

“You don’t have cooties down there, Emily.”

“You're 0 for 2 with the uncomfortable images tonight.” she said. “Thank you for that.”

“I love you.” he kissed her.

“I love you too, Aaron.”

The giggles next door soon turned to moans and Emily groaned again. Hotch just laughed. She wasn’t going to be able to strike herself deaf so she could get some sleep. It wouldn’t be the first or last time Emily had to work through an uncomfortable situation. The next one would probably be tomorrow morning over coffee.

***


End file.
